I am back from my impromptu vacation from blogging. My disappearance was a combination of absentmindedness and unexpected demands on my time. Honestly, I thought it would be easier to keep up a blog a day resolution. I thought that my biggest challenge would be getting bored or laziness, but really it’s having it slip my mind or outside influences that get in the way.
The Eight of Swords is a card of mental imprisonment. The querent sees themselves as powerless, possibly due to their own illusionistic constraints, possibly due to outside influences. There is the connotation of the querent feeling like a victim in this situation. These negative thoughts lead to a self-imposed exile. There may be options to escape whatever stressful situations are causing the feeling of powerlessness, but the querent may not be in the right mindspace to see them.
Most people probably don’t know that I get depressed during the winter, though it seems to be a common enough ailment. Some years it’s not so bad. It also takes some outside events to really trigger. My brain goes into an infinite negative cycle about anything stressful, making me more and more stressed out, sad, and tired, and I am unable to shut it off (taking vitamin D or full spectrum lights help). A friend of mine dubbed this “monkey mind,” for the feeling of maddening constant chatter it evokes.
My SAD has been really bad this year, most likely because I am done with school and have no clear goal I’m working toward right now. I have too much extra mental space to devote to stressing over all the small details of my life, even though my life isn’t really all that stressful right now, from an objective point of view. It’s especially hard at night, when I’m trying to go to bed. I think that the Eight of Swords is referencing this situation. My mind has trapped myself in it, and while I may have potential solutions for the troubles that are bothering me, I can’t see them right now because of my monkey mind. The counsel in this situation is to have patience and wait until the mind clears, and then taking a new look at the situation. Realize what is happening, that it is not the end of the world, and that things will move forward eventually.