Tarot Project: Ill-Dignified Lovers

Never my favorite card to see, as I’ve said before. Last time this showed up Philip and I got into a disagreement about chores. While not necessarily about relationships, the ill-dignified lovers represents conflict in some sort of partnership. This is a hard card to know beforehand what area of the life it is speaking toward, so I’m just going to have to wait and see what happens.

Tarot Project: Knight of Cups

The Knight of Cups seems to be one of my personal signifiers, as I have drawn it three other times since starting this project. Today it may have a different meaning than usual. Normally I interpret the knight as being an aspect of myself, referencing my nature as dreamer and idealist; however, the knight can be a messenger of opportunity. Yesterday I accepted a job as a Marketing Contractor for AudaVoxx audio book newsletter. Perhaps this card indicates that there will be further opportunities opening up today, or perhaps merely that right now is a good time to be pursuing my ambitions.

When I first drew the card, though, I immediately thought of playing games with my friends later tonight. It is a journey of creativity, and my intuition says that the card references game night and having fun. I look forward to seeing what may happen!

Tarot Project: Ill-Dignified Ten of Coins

I went to Olympia Wednesday to hang out with my friend who lives in Japan, but who is home visiting. The drive back took a bit more time than expected, and once I finally got home I had to rush to work. So, no post yesterday. But I had a lovely time eating shabu-shabu and playing games.

The Ten of Coins is the culmination of financial progress, equating security and success. This is one of the most straightforward illustrations for the Scapini tarot. It depicts a tree of coins grown strong and tall, with a mighty castle in the background. Ten is a number of stability. The foundations are rock solid.

Ill dignified, the Ten of Coins means there’s something interfering with that stability. Maybe the tree looks grown, but the roots are weak. There’s rot underneath the bark. Or maybe the querent is working hard and earning money, but it disappears too quickly to grant stability. Maybe it’s just temporary.

As a server, the holiday season is our busiest time of the year, but it is only temporary. January and February are really slow, so while it’s a temptation to spend all the money made during December, it is more prudent to save it for the slow months. While currently I feel stable in my finances, it is important for me to remember that my current level of income is temporary, and not to take it for granted.

Tarot Project: Eight of Swords

I am back from my impromptu vacation from blogging. My disappearance was a combination of absentmindedness and unexpected demands on my time. Honestly, I thought it would be easier to keep up a blog a day resolution. I thought that my biggest challenge would be getting bored or laziness, but really it’s having it slip my mind or outside influences that get in the way.

The Eight of Swords is a card of mental imprisonment. The querent sees themselves as powerless, possibly due to their own illusionistic constraints, possibly due to outside influences. There is the connotation of the querent feeling like a victim in this situation. These negative thoughts lead to a self-imposed exile. There may be options to escape whatever stressful situations are causing the feeling of powerlessness, but the querent may not be in the right mindspace to see them.

Most people probably don’t know that I get depressed during the winter, though it seems to be a common enough ailment. Some years it’s not so bad. It also takes some outside events to really trigger. My brain goes into an infinite negative cycle about anything stressful, making me more and more stressed out, sad, and tired, and I am unable to shut it off (taking vitamin D or full spectrum lights help). A friend of mine dubbed this “monkey mind,” for the feeling of maddening constant chatter it evokes.

My SAD has been really bad this year, most likely because I am done with school and have no clear goal I’m working toward right now. I have too much extra mental space to devote to stressing over all the small details of my life, even though my life isn’t really all that stressful right now, from an objective point of view. It’s especially hard at night, when I’m trying to go to bed. I think that the Eight of Swords is referencing this situation. My mind has trapped myself in it, and while I may have potential solutions for the troubles that are bothering me, I can’t see them right now because of my monkey mind. The counsel in this situation is to have patience and wait until the mind clears, and then taking a new look at the situation. Realize what is happening, that it is not the end of the world, and that things will move forward eventually.

Tarot Project: Ill-Dignified Knight of Cups

The Knight of Cups is guided by emotions more than logic. He follows his intuition across the landscape of dreams, questing for ideals, for it is ideals that he loves, more than reality. The inverted Knight of Cups shows that he has let his emotions control him too much: he wallows in his emotions, unable to act. He may have grown disappointed in the quest he has set himself upon, the reality of the situation having intruded too much on the pretty imagining he created for himself.

Yeah, this is how I feel today.

Tarot Project: Five of Cups Revisited

A little late today, but here we go. We have . . . the same card as yesterday.

Welp.

I think my interpretation yesterday was accurate. I was not as productive yesterday as I wanted to be, despite warning myself that might be the case. I did try to keep in mind the things I had accomplished, as the card suggested, so I didn’t become inanimate from guilt.

While my mind did take journeys to the great regrets of my past, I think these sojourns were prompted by the card itself, and didn’t represent any external reminders or internal bubbles.

Flash forward to today, and here I was, lying on the couch, feeling disconsolate because I wasn’t super motivated today. So, another gentle reminder from the tarot to not lose myself in regret, but to push forward. To not get so caught up in what I haven’t done, but to figure out what I can do with the time I have.

Tarot Project: Five of Cups

Today I drew the Five of Cups, a card connected to loss and regret. An old man at death’s door looks back on the mistakes of his childhood and wishes he could take them back, forgetting that the lessons he learned from his mistakes gave him many blessings.

I think everyone has regrets, and there are certainly a lot of situations to which I could attach this card. However, in context of the question “What will my day bring?” I think reaching to these longstanding regrets is too broad an interpretation.

As an alternative reading, I can already tell that I am not going to get everything done today that I want to, and as this is my last day off till Saturday I might be tempted to regret and blame myself for not prioritizing my time better. The Five of Cups might suggest to not weigh myself down with unnecessary guilt, but to focus on everything that I can and will get done.